The other day was an amazing day full of love, laughter and joy. All this is hitting me after going over to visit a very dear friend that JUST got her baby girl after waiting 12 years to have children. Our whole community spontaneously burst into tears when we heard the amazing news! We’ve all prayed and waited for this moment for them and it was finally here! I texted her later to find out what kind of diapers they were using so I could bring some over when I went by to see her preciousness!!
I get it y’all, new babies are like magnets for me too.
But, in our excitement, sometimes we forget what it’s like to be sitting there on the ‘new mom’ end of the day. I’ve thought of some things NOT to do when visiting a new baby. I’d love your thoughts and maybe there are some I’ve forgotten about that you can add in the comments!
Do NOT visit a new baby empty handed.
Y’all, I’m serious. Don’t be visiting at the home of new parents ‘just to see the baby’. As much as we’d like to think that our mere presence is present enough,
These new parents are tired. If it’s their first baby, then EVERYTHING takes more time than it will later. They are still figuring out a schedule. They still have that ‘deer in the headlights’ look on their faces like, “What just happened?” Shell shock has set in and it all. takes. longer. Diapering takes longer. Feeding takes longer. Burping is a huge learning curve. Don’t even get me started on sleep deprivation. My husband went through POW training in the military and one of the top ways they break you is sleep deprivation. They play a crying baby over the loud speakers ALL. NIGHT. LONG.
So visiting empty handed is just not cool. You can bring diapers if you can’t cook. Bring a gift card for a local takeout restaurant. If you know the person well enough, show up with their favorite special coffee from Dunkin’ or Starbucks. You really can’t go wrong. Here’s something cool for every new mom since she’s gonna be sitting with that baby… this works with Alexa…
Do NOT show up unexpectedly.
This is huge y’all. These parents are just hanging on by a thread if they are rookies and showing up out of the blue is ridiculous. It’s no telling what you might interrupt so please text or call and make sure it’s a good time to show up (with something for them of course… see above!!) Be flexible.
Do NOT show up sick.
This one really should be understood but somehow people still do it. These little bundles of joy have really frail immune systems at this stage and your hacking cough that is probably just allergies (yea right) is disconcerting. Along these same lines is washing hands. I was going to make this one a separate point but it’s really in there with being sick. Whether you’re sick or not, WASH your hands voluntarily with soap! The mother is thinking it anyways and it keeps her from having to feel awkward to ask you.
Do NOT post on social media AT ALL without permission.
Everyone loves to be that person that knows stuff. I’ll admit that I’ve been guilty of that at times but God has shown me just how wrong that can be. That is a natural human tendency. But, with babies, it’s just not your news to tell. This includes the pregnancy, birth, and if it’s an adoption – details of the day they get the baby. You can take a picture of the visit and sometimes the mom will take a picture of you with the baby. DO NOT POST this without their permission!! There are all sorts of sensitive situations that make this inappropriate or unwanted. There have even been situations where someone posted on someone’s page before they were able to tell their parents about the baby! Any time you are posting information online, I want you to ask yourself, “is this my news to tell?” If it’s not, then don’t.
Do NOT offer your opinion unless you are asked.
This is kind of a great rule for life, not just for visiting new baby people. Hmm, I think I’ll add this to the next installment of Rules for Living. We all have opinions of how things should be done. Hopefully, this new mom has a tribe that she will go to for advice. If you’re not in it, then just don’t. You can support her with the food you brought, the unending (and genuine) compliments you give while there and PRAYERS. It’s ok to ask if there is something specific you can pray for her about. But then don’t share that with anyone but God. I pray in circles around my house a lot. I’ll close with these thoughts from today.
I love y’all!
Keep it Simple,