They are hard,
and sometimes, painful.
Today, my youngest learned that someone who you thought was your friend, may not always be your friend. They may throw you under the bus just to save themselves from being embarrassed.
This was a hard lesson. My kids are not perfect. They are normal middle school boys that make mistakes. In this particular incident, he really was innocent so the hurt is multiplied by the blindside that he received.
It’s kind of like when you are friends with someone for a long time then you notice weird stuff being posted on their facebook page. Usually, you will be able to message that person and say, ‘hey, ur fb has been hacked. change your password.’ Why do we do this…
BECAUSE WE KNOW THEM AND THEIR CHARACTER AND WE KNOW IT WASN’T LIKE THEM TO POST THAT WEIRD STUFF.
That was what was so hurtful yesterday. A life of friendship was trampled on because one person assumed the other one had ratted him out when that was not the case at all. It would be against his character to go against a friend but that wasn’t taken into consideration and the character assassination ensued.
So thankfully, my son asked advice what to do. I told him that men handle situations calmly and immediately when a misunderstanding happens and that it needed to be straightened out. That is the Biblical way to do it.
Matthew 18:15-17 (ESV) “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.
If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you,
that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.
17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.
And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
We went to the house of the lifelong friend. I stepped back and let my son speak and ask the other person why they did what they did. First denial, then admission, then reconciliation. Of course, the actual results will remain to be seen since the damage that has been done, must be undone. I’m not even sure if this is possible.
I believe the other parent and I did a good job and showing these boys that you can be angry and then work it out. Our kids are always looking to us to learn how to do life. I hope and pray that we taught them how to work stuff out yesterday.
I know that my kids HAVE AND WILL say and do hurtful things. They are not immune to this sin and they are not always blameless. It’s so sad though, that there are parents that just won’t believe that their kid could possibly be hurtful.
James 4:17 says that ‘if anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.
I’m thankful that there seems to be some reconciliation with both families involved.
Raising kids is hard.
Raising boys to be men is really hard.
I hope this is over for my kid but I have a feeling it will take a while. The Bible doesn’t say to be a doormat but we must be the light in this dark world too.
The skills he learns from this injustice may help him one day or will help him help someone else maybe.
(trying to) Keep it Simple,