Admittedly, NCIS is one of my all-time favorite shows. Gibbs’ rules for living have less to do with criminal justice and more to do with real life. It doesn’t hurt that I’m in my late 40’s and the only person hotter than Mark Harmon is my captain. Oh, and you’re only going to like this video if you’re an NCIS fan…
I’m not pretending to be as cool as Gibbs but some rules have popped into my head lately and some have been passed down to me, so here goes… oh, and these are just the first 5…
1. If someone tells you something and tells you not to tell, NEVER tell that person anything you don’t want told.
If they will ‘trust’ you with something, then they will ‘trust’ one of your things with someone else. The only way to keep a secret is to keep it. This is a very hard lesson to learn. I’m not at all saying that the person is a bad person or friend. Secrets are VERY hard to keep. I know! Last year, a friend told me something she didn’t want told. I didn’t tell it. In fact, I didn’t even tell my husband. It wasn’t ‘keeping a secret’ from my husband because it had nothing to do with us. Later, I found out she told someone else because another person came to me to verify the information and I told her I wasn’t at liberty to say. I asked her where she heard it. She told me she heard it from the other person that my friend told. Well, in the end, my friend thought I was the one who told. Well, God knows it wasn’t me and that’s all I had to cling to. It was painful but I’ve come out on the other side wiser and a little tougher. Now, I teach my boys to make sure and not tell anything they don’t want public. In this age of technology, very little will ever be really private.
2. Always be 5 minutes early. It lets the person you are meeting know they matter.
We’re about to have a driver in the family. Recently, we were meeting another family to carpool somewhere and when we drove up to the meeting place, I asked my boys, “Are these on time people or not?” They both said that this person is always on time. I pointed out to them that because one of them is about to be a driver, they will have the opportunity to begin creating their identity and what expectation others will have about them. On a rare occasion, I’m late. If I am, I call ahead to let folks know what has happened. Because you know what?? LIFE HAPPENS!! There are going to be days when you are delayed. Letting someone know, lets them know you care. Thousands of articles are written about this. It still baffles me. Although, I have other MAJOR flaws that baffle other people so there’s that.
3. Never say, “Is there anything I can do?” Just show up and do something.
If you are the one in crisis, you know this is a tough question to hear because when you’re in the pit, you don’t know what you need. But your tribe knows. That’s why I wrote that to encourage y’all to have a tribe. Because when hard days come, and they will, your tribe won’t say “Is there anything I can do?”. Your tribe will show up. Now, another issue I want to address is that if you are not in someone’s tribe, step back and let their tribe take care of them. BUT, if someone doesn’t have a tribe, then you need to show up and help. Clean their bathrooms, walk their dog, bring them a gift card for takeout, or most anything will help. Once you’ve helped, step back and let them know to put you on the short list but check back in with them.
4. Find a way to be content with someone not liking you.
I didn’t realize that my sanguine personality was holding me hostage by making me think that life isn’t good unless you are liked by all. Last year I lost a friend to a misunderstanding. Looking back, I’m not sure we were true friends because now, a year later, we are still only just peripheral. True friends work stuff out. It took me weeks to be ok with someone not liking me. I knew I had not done anything to deserve it but the facts don’t matter when it’s all done. God has so clearly shown me His love through it all and has helped me grow up a lot. The captain and I are always trying to teach the boys that you won’t be the most popular but you must always do what God tells you to do. Being well liked is fine but NEEDING it isn’t fine. If you know who you are in Christ, no one else can take that away. I love this article and it says exactly what I’m feeling about this!!
5. Don’t wait til the last minute to do things.
It’s rude, causes chaos and shows people that you didn’t really want to do it. This really falls into the same category as being late! My oldest chose to wait til the night before it was due to work on his science project this year. I can’t explain my anger that boiled over when he texted me and said, “Can you get a lead contamination testing kit today?” Um, NO!! Ok, I found one at Sherwin Williams and a friend that makes his own bullets had lead. But y’all, I ’bout busted a gut not stripping that kid of every privilege he had!! Oy! All that to say, lack of planning and preparation, is rude! Don’t do it.
What are some life rules you go by?
Keep it Simple,